It doesn't take so much to find explanation of the trans / JKR conflict, but there are a couple of good ones that explain it better than I can right here on Medium. This one covers the holocaust controversy really nicely (https://medium.com/bouncin-and-behavin-blogs/yes-the-nazis-did-target-transgender-people-b13a7055cba7) and this one is a whistlestop tour of problematic stuff (https://medium.com/seroxcats-salon/is-jk-rowling-transphobic-the-terf-wars-continue-14a6cd008883). Ironically, every trans person I know adores Harry Potter - it sucks when your heroes turn out to be your villains. Her stated position is one thing - her actions and posts are very different. If you cannot reach a middle ground between your current understanding of JKR and what I have posted above, I can share more with you. It sucks, I know. None of us wanted this.

On debating and conversation I have thought about this a lot over the past years, both as a trans person and as a scholar of conflict resolution. I do think it could be productive. I think a closed discussion between a strong trans person and JK Rowling would be interesting and probably beneficial. As I tell many people, I would break bread with anyone, and I think that attitude is important - hopefully it would reciprocated on the other side in good faith. Another option, of course, would be a recorded/TV/live discussion, which would also have value. I would focus on finding common ground, which is what we need.

I love Dylan Mulvaney, and I think she is a really important trans figure, but she isn't the right person to send into a debate with someone like JKR. You need a skilled, educated trans person with tremendous courage and integrity to even think about doing it (especially live) - and there aren't many out there that are even close to being public figures. The problem is that JKR, with her unlimited money and online influence, effectively has nothing to lose and can turn whatever happens into whatever she wants. There will inevitably be grim attacks online which she is better shielded from than some poor trans person - that exposure would be brutal, and every detail of their private life would be publicissed - and they don't have money, they won't have influence, and they won't necessarily be resilient

In short, there is so much for the random trans person to lose that JKR necessarily does not. For the love of god, don't make Dylan Mulvaney do it. I honestly think that breaking bread behind closed doors would be more productive, but the imperatives of clicks and views probably means something live would be more likely.

You mention JKR an awful lot here, but you have shown more understanding than her. You don't need to return to her talking points when you have plenty to say and discuss on yourself! :)

I honestly don't know much about Planet Fitness. Nobody has a way to authenticate anybody's gender anyway - how about butch lesbians that want to use the same facilities? Intersex people? I feel like this is a race to the bottom. Being able to identify people - like with a gender ID card - is also a risk - it can facilitate widespread harm.

Child, Psychologist, Parent sounds good to me. I don't the state has the right to intervene in that privacy, except where rights are infringed.

In this particular moment, I think the federal government has an important role to play in the protection of trans rights. 547 bills in 42 states have been raised this year already, and some of them are winning. Some of them are truly regressive and dangerous too - restricting healthcare and condemning trans people to the shadows. That there is an exodus of trans people from those states is a sign that something is really wrong. I live in the US but am from the UK, and there the government and media are effectively anti-trans - believe me, that is a nightmare, profoundly dark scenario. I appreciate your comments on your position as a married gay man!

A key problem right now is that for a huge number of trans people right now, even being out carries real consequences in life - in the workplace, online, in the gym, in sports, in the bathroom, in public, on public transport - these are deeply, deeply challenging times. I think that is partly why many people are taken back by the ferocity of the 'trans movement' - they do not understand that our backs are against the wall, and we are being pushed off the edge of a cliff.

There is so much more to say, but I will end with this:

I've spent the last three years in graduate school at Tufts and occasionally Harvard studying war crimes and conflict resolution. Because of trans-related PTSD, I spent a long time on suicide watch in a hospital last year. I met more trans people that wanted to die in that psych hospital than I have met at Harvard and Tufts combined in three years. All my trans friends have some history of suicidality, self harm, or suicide attempts. As much as hate-crimes, assaults, and murders sometimes hit news, it is the suicide and self-harm rates that tell the real story. Our minds keep the score. When trans people say they are hurting right now, believe them. When trans people say they are scared - they really are. These are really, really bad times for us.

I think the conversation would be quite different if we framed it as a movement to guarantee Healthcare, Dignity, and Protection.

I agree with you about conversation and debate. I really appreciate this conversation. :)