Hey, friend! Thanks for commenting.

The transgender community will almost certainly never be able to make peace with JK Rowling, and nor would JK Rowling accept that peace. Her campaign against trans people - and it is a campaign against trans people - is earning her political and popular power. She has played an extraordinary role in igniting the anti-trans movement, particularly in the UK. If JK Rowling was participating honestly in reasoned debate with the trans community, there would be room for resolution - but she isn't. She frames the trans person as criminal and perverse, which with her influence makes the movement genuinely dangerous. Without her influence on society, I doubt Cass happens in the way that it did, and nor would have been received as it did.

I disagree that these things kicked off the war with JK Rowling, but I will respond.

A - A question to you. Do you believe that transgender people are ordinary people that should be able to engage in all aspects of society? Do you think a transman is a man, or is your concern only related to women and transwomen? What does it take for someone to have transitioned for you - is it hormones? Surgery? What underlies this question is the assumption that transwomen are somehow inherently dangerous to cis-women. As a transwoman, I reject that notion. I have seen the cases of trans criminals that JKR has amplified. Trans criminals exist in the same way that cis women and cis men are also criminals. By amplifying them, people think that all trans women pose a threat to cis women. I probably know around 30 trans women and 30 trans men. All are just trying to get by, working professional jobs and doing their best to stay alive. They are not criminals, and they are not predators.

The man-declaring-they-are-trans scenario is ridiculous. Prisons - someone that is genuinely and demonstrably trans may require different treatment from other prisoners due to the risks involved - can you imagine being a transwoman being in a male prison? At the same time, it needs to be very balanced. If you look at the UK prison system, there is a very small proportion of trans people.

Have you ever considered what can happen if a transwoman goes in the men's bathroom? I know many of us try not to go to the bathroom in public for fear of being confronted in either bathroom. I am personally more comfortable with unisex bathrooms, but I will use women's bathrooms over men's bathrooms. Do you know what the stupid thing about this debate is - what do transwomen do in the bathroom? They do their business, they might adjust their makeup, and then they leave - just like anybody else.

It is men that pose the bigger threat to women, and trans people are the first to join the fight for women's rights - because we understand and it affects us all.

So yes, a transwoman is a woman, and a transman is a man. Many trans people I know don't consider themselves to 'fully' be women or men yet until they are quite far along in their transition.

I want you to understand that nobody would choose to be trans. This is a brutal, fundamentally challenging life that is very difficult to sustain. A huge portion of us experience suicidality, self harm, or suicide attempts every year - read my other writing. The idea that someone would decided to be trans to cause harm is something out of a fiction novel - and if it ever happens, they will be an extremely sick - not trans- individual.

Transwomen in sports... This is complicated, and I think there are more important issues that should be discussed. At the elite level, there is a tiny, tiny number of trans people that can compete at that level. At that level, I think case-by-case assessments being made makes sense. If the athlete does possess a sufficient biological advantage, then a decision would have to be made. In extreme cases, this might be relevant at lower levels of sport too. But trans people - men or women - should not be shut out of sport on the basis of their gender identity, particularly during and after medical transition. A transwoman playing men's sports is going to have a miserable time. A transman playing women's sports might have an experience like this too. There is a difference between intense, competitive sport and social sport too.

A big problem in this debate is that for transwomen, sport's authorities are currently mandating that if a trans woman has experienced any stage of male puberty, then they will not play women's sport. This means that a trans person would have needed puberty blockers from the age of about 12 and then have hormones later during puberty. Yet do you know what the UK and elsewhere is trying to cancel? Children having puberty blockers. It is a mess, no?

So this question needs nuance - but that doesn't exist online.

Children should be given with psychosocial support. In specific circumstances, that might include puberty blockers - understand that they just delay puberty, they do not start a transition. Following that, hormones might be prescribed in specific circumstances from the age of 16. As for surgery, I can imagine that in very extreme cases, it may be justifiable. I believe 18 and up should be the norm, as it is now. What I have said here is pretty normal and uncontroversial. The real problem with trans healthcare for kids - especially in the UK - is that they literally can't get it. Waiting lists are literally many years long just for an initial appointment. I should know - I was one of them, and it hurts me every day, even now.

It is sad to be debating this when kids literally and overwhelmingly can't access the healthcare ideas we are discussing.

Kids should get robust and high quality sex ed that introduces but does not focus on LGBTQ+ sexuality and identity. As they get older, that may change as appropriate. It must ultimately promote acceptance, provide queer kids with what they need, without taking away from the general direction of the education. I don't know when and where - that is why we have education policy experts.

I have written with a lot of nuance here, because that is extremely important in the context of the transgender community. However, the internet will tell you that trans women are criminals, predators, and that transmen are somehow tragic victims. It will tell you that detransitioners mean that trans people shouldn't make decisions until they are 25, and it will show you that women's sport is being ruined by hair, masculine transwoman.

Your job, as an independent thinker, is to listen to trans people like me, and then to pit that against the things you have read JKR and others say. I don't expect you to suddenly turn around and start fighting for trans rights, but I do expect you to think for yourself - to the extent that my writing to you deserves. You pride yourself on being independent. This is a great opportunity to prove that.

Thank you for writing!