Member-only story
Falling Backwards
CW: Discussions of Self-Harm and Suicide
Before you read this, I just want to say that I know that this piece of writing is messy and imperfect. I also know that it is heartfelt, honest, and that it accurately conveys the trials and tribulations of my mental health recovery. Please do not worry about me — I am safe, and I have a good safety plan. Thank you so much for reading and engaging with my life and work — it means the world to me!
After the amazing events in my last story, I was feeling really good. I had found, at last, a group of trans people that I can be friends with, and even better than that — a group of trans friends that wanted to be in nature. As a lifelong naturalist (NOT naturist, there is a big difference), it was such a beautiful thing with many possibilities. The subsequent days were wonderful, too. I was feeling great, happy, and even excited about the future. For the first time, I could start to think more long-term about the things I wanted to do, and that felt like (and was) a huge, huge thing. I hadn’t been able to do that for months. I didn’t tell anyone, but I was feeling so good that I thought I was healed, and that I was entirely through my mental health challenges this year. I thought I was going to be able to move forward with my life, and whilst I would need to work on being mentally healthy, I was stable and healed now. I thought that with all of my…
